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Does It Matter?

4/5/2015

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Picturesunrise from hills of southern Nicoya
     You may have noticed (or maybe not!) that there are big gaps in the timing of these blogs and I have been told over the years, in friendly and caring ways, that regularity on this thing is better for business, better for success.  Hm.  The questions I found I kept asking myself with regard to this are:

What does success mean to me?

Does writing a blog post honestly matter to me right now?!

     I decided a while ago that I’m not here on this planet, in the skin I’m wearing so that I can figure out how to live according to how others do or have or based upon some external standard about what is good or best or successful.  I’m here to have my own experience, the experience that feels right to me and I can only do that when I measure my success, whatever the ‘success’ is, good it feels to me.  Am I honestly feeling happy, satisfied, enthusiastic, pleased, peaceful, radiant, etc… while engaging in it?  Does it really matter?  …to ME!  Is what I’m doing coming from an inner inspiration that is founded in the deepest, most expansive part of me?  The happy, joyful part.

     At this very moment, I am laying on a four-post bed made of thick bamboo posts in a room with white curtains billowing in the breeze coming off the Pacific that spans to the horizon to the south and I can see the outline of the mountains of Costa Rica to the east.  I was lying in bed after another glorious sunrise over those mountains when in the not-so verbal rising into the day of my consciousness, there was, “write a blog post!” accompanied by a sense of delight!

     This blog is a microcosm of my way of living and at this moment of delight is an opportunity to express the idea, choice, modus operandi, whatever you’d like to call it, of Success = Joy that I’ve found to be my basic equation.  And joy happens when I’m engaging in what I value, that which is intrinsically inspired, what feels good and right to me.  That’s my M.O. so that’s my B.O., my bloggus operandi.  (Yep, my life is fully scented with it!)  Writing a blog post, or doing anything else, simply because it feels joyful to do so is an entirely different experience than writing it because I think I have to in order to be successful.  In the first instance, I am happy; in the second, I’m trying to fit, be pleasing, do what I’m supposed to in order to get to happy.  Well, fit what?  Please what?  According to whom?  I’d rather be happy than be something else that honestly isn’t quite happy trying to become happy.

     It’s funny to me that I’m here by myself in this remote house overlooking the beautiful Costa Rican Pacific with the intention of not only exploring and enjoying this place but also having time and space to clarify what really matters to me, right now and as I go forward, and here I am inspired to write in this blog.  I’m inspired because one thing that is clear, again, is that I like inspiring others to make themselves happy, do what matters to them, uniquely and individually.  I am a natural and talented Uplifter of Persons; it is my main art medium: it’s something I enjoy enormously.  I’ve loosened my ideas about what uplifting others means I specifically do and am enjoying the space and time to be, nonspecifically, and allow the next specifics to emerge from joyful inspiration.  It’s looking like I like to write sometimes!

     Getting to this time and space has been a loopy path with numerous pit stops while I gathered together more experience to prove to myself, on deeper and deeper levels, that there is nothing that I must do there is only what I want to do, what feels good and right to me.  Given the choice (and we all have it all the time, we just often don’t believe it!), might as well have the experience that matters to me, regardless of how it might look from the outside.  And as it turns out, clearing the way to put myself in the center this way has elicited spontaneous reports that others are greatly inspired by me when I have been paying absolutely no attention to doing so. And here I am now, moved by my own inner spaciousness to write this as an encouragement to you.  It feels good to me to take a stand for Happiness!  Your Happiness. 

     So no matter what you’re up to, I ask you: does it honestly matter to You?  If it doesn’t, I encourage you to step out of it, one way or another as long as the steps themselves feel progressively toward good; this is Your life to have the experience that is right and joyful for You.  If it matters but you’re not enjoying it, find a way to re-connect to your happiness, even if it means to disengage for a while.  Your impact is far more beneficial and grand when your actions are joyfully inspired and, anyway, being happy now is the way to being happy later.  If it does matter and you’re already enjoying it, YAY!  Success!  …or as it is said in Spanish, “Éxito!”  and that seems like a fine way to end.


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Calming the Roaring Rapids of Time

12/3/2013

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Picture
Have you been amazed by your ride on the river of time being a ride on the rapids lately?  And have you been finding yourself amidst uncertain circumstances?  I sure have!  It has been a year since my last blog! 

When life seems to be racing by, filled with mounting uncertainties and an increasing sense of instability, it can be challenging to stay connected to a sense of peace and joyful purpose. While over the last year I did intentionally put much of my attention on my now 19 year-old son finishing high school and getting off and away to San Pablo, CA—he’s learning many useful things at The Hatlen Center for the Blind there—I had no idea a whole year would pass so quickly, much less the last 19! 

(That's a picture of me and my son, Zion, dancing together about 10 years ago.  I blinked and it's now now...again!  Oh the cosmic humor!)

So how can we live inside of the experience of well-being when the days seem to be turning to mist before our eyes and yet we still care about solid things like financial flow, meaningful and authentic contribution to our community, mutually nourishing relationships and overall happiness?  There are lots of responses to that question and what that response is depends on whom you ask.  My full answer would require more than this one blog post, but what's essential is to reel in your attention to right here, right now.  For me, it’s been a year of putting a lot of my attention on sometime besides the present moment and even though there have been big challenges and some gaping uncertainties, I have kept pretty well tuned to Radio Sarah.  There are still challenges and uncertainties; nevertheless, in fact because of those challenges & uncertainties, now is a good time to ramp up the practices that keep me in line with Me and feeling that deep sense of peace.  Now, whenever that is, is always a good time to turn attention to The Moment and seeing one’s self as the source of how the moment feels or is experienced. It's pretty human to get distracted, though, so cut yourself a break if you, like me, are not perfect.

One of the reasons some people enjoy fast-moving activities like video games, downhill skiing and many other sports & games is the same as the reason some enjoy meditation, Expressive Movement/Art-making or Tai Chi; these activities require us to bring most or all of the attention to the moment and we feel good there.  …I mean here!  (hint: whatever activity like that feels good to you is a valuable tool for you to use!  ...so go play!)

It feels good to have desires and visions for the future, too and yet when the future, even if it’s later the same day, is what occupies most of my thoughts, that’s when time is a roaring rapid and I find I’m less happy, especially if I don’t know the how’s, when’s, etc. to create what I need, desire or envision.  My future is built on the foundation of this moment after all, so caring about my experience in the future requires me to care about my experience, my happiness here and now.  I know when I’m feeling good that my actions are much more likely to naturally create or lead me to more of the experiences I desire.  When I’m feeling “onky”—onky (ahn-kee) adjective 1. upset in some way, to the extent that I do NOT feel good (based on Sarah’s Dictionary of Invented Words ©2013)—and I do anything, my actions will be guided by those feelings and are more likely to lead to more onkiness.  Much better to re-orient to feeling better about myself, Life or whatever and then proceed.

It’s okay not to know all the answers to the questions of how, when, where, who, what; it’s even okay to feel the onkiest you’ve ever felt because there really is plenty of time in The Big Picture for all of it, but when you’re ready to enjoy this moment and this lifetime and not feel like you’ve been losing time to the rapids, turn your attention to feeling good in the here where you are and the now when you are. 

I have some more juicy recommendations for feeling good in the moment even if uncertainties or unpleasantries are present.  Stay tuned!

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    Sarah Wyckoff offers Holistic Transformative Coaching, in Person or by Phone, as well as groups and retreats.

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