Have you been amazed by your ride on the river of time being a ride on the rapids lately?  And have you been finding yourself amidst uncertain circumstances?  I sure have!  It has been a year since my last blog! 

When life seems to be racing by, filled with mounting uncertainties and an increasing sense of instability, it can be challenging to stay connected to a sense of peace and joyful purpose. While over the last year I did intentionally put much of my attention on my now 19 year-old son finishing high school and getting off and away to San Pablo, CA—he’s learning many useful things at The Hatlen Center for the Blind there—I had no idea a whole year would pass so quickly, much less the last 19! 

(That's a picture of me and my son, Zion, dancing together about 10 years ago.  I blinked and it's now now...again!  Oh the cosmic humor!)

So how can we live inside of the experience of well-being when the days seem to be turning to mist before our eyes and yet we still care about solid things like financial flow, meaningful and authentic contribution to our community, mutually nourishing relationships and overall happiness?  There are lots of responses to that question and what that response is depends on whom you ask.  My full answer would require more than this one blog post, but what's essential is to reel in your attention to right here, right now.  For me, it’s been a year of putting a lot of my attention on sometime besides the present moment and even though there have been big challenges and some gaping uncertainties, I have kept pretty well tuned to Radio Sarah.  There are still challenges and uncertainties; nevertheless, in fact because of those challenges & uncertainties, now is a good time to ramp up the practices that keep me in line with Me and feeling that deep sense of peace.  Now, whenever that is, is always a good time to turn attention to The Moment and seeing one’s self as the source of how the moment feels or is experienced. It's pretty human to get distracted, though, so cut yourself a break if you, like me, are not perfect.

One of the reasons some people enjoy fast-moving activities like video games, downhill skiing and many other sports & games is the same as the reason some enjoy meditation, Expressive Movement/Art-making or Tai Chi; these activities require us to bring most or all of the attention to the moment and we feel good there.  …I mean here!  (hint: whatever activity like that feels good to you is a valuable tool for you to use!  ...so go play!)

It feels good to have desires and visions for the future, too and yet when the future, even if it’s later the same day, is what occupies most of my thoughts, that’s when time is a roaring rapid and I find I’m less happy, especially if I don’t know the how’s, when’s, etc. to create what I need, desire or envision.  My future is built on the foundation of this moment after all, so caring about my experience in the future requires me to care about my experience, my happiness here and now.  I know when I’m feeling good that my actions are much more likely to naturally create or lead me to more of the experiences I desire.  When I’m feeling “onky”—onky (ahn-kee) adjective 1. upset in some way, to the extent that I do NOT feel good (based on Sarah’s Dictionary of Invented Words ©2013)—and I do anything, my actions will be guided by those feelings and are more likely to lead to more onkiness.  Much better to re-orient to feeling better about myself, Life or whatever and then proceed.

It’s okay not to know all the answers to the questions of how, when, where, who, what; it’s even okay to feel the onkiest you’ve ever felt because there really is plenty of time in The Big Picture for all of it, but when you’re ready to enjoy this moment and this lifetime and not feel like you’ve been losing time to the rapids, turn your attention to feeling good in the here where you are and the now when you are. 

I have some more juicy recommendations for feeling good in the moment even if uncertainties or unpleasantries are present.  Stay tuned!

    This morning I sent, well it was honestly more like witnessed, my son Zion off on the bus to his first day of senior year with zest in his step and a smile on his face.  I must admit that I'm awed by the miracle in which I live.  At this moment, my perspective is on the miracle of uncertainty's offerings.  Where I am, that is to say what I'm experiencing, in Life these days is rich and beautiful and the result of an ever unfolding adventure in not knowing what's next.  The depth of joy in my life experience reinforces my understanding that where I'm going, that is to say the experiences to come, will be rich and beautiful, too, even though I really have no idea what it will all look like. 
    How could I have known years ago that the boy who, it was said, may never walk or talk would get himself up at 5:45am today, get dressed, have the simple breakfast he pre-prepared last night, get his backpack together including the notebook he & I cleared out from last year, put on his new 'flip flops' (his first pair and they keep making him chuckle because of the literal "flip flop" sound they make; he says "Wouldn't it be fun to make a whole symphony from the sound of a lot of people's flip flops!"), wish me a wonderful day and greet the bus driver at 6:30am with a heartfelt "Good Morning!"?  What I do know is that if I had tried to make happen some precognition of who or what he should be or be able to do that I would have missed the innumerable opportunities and blessings (some in the form of challenges) that have taken us here to this sweet morning. 
    What else I know is that if I try to make happen the details of my idea of what's possible next, I'll loose the greatest treasure of what's to come, the treasure that only Life and I can create together when I respond from the deep guidance within me to what Life brings to me in each moment.  I don't know what form(s) that treasure will take, but I do know it is more exquisitely perfect than if I limited it to just what I can imagine.  Mistake me not!  I am an enthusiastic supporter of imagining, but it seems to me that imagination's gifts are best revealed when imagination is followed, nurtured into existence, not lead or forced, allowing a greater source of possibility than my own thinking and experience to inform and influence material manifestations.  That's quite a bit like supportive parenting!
    Zion is the miracle he is because we are allowing uncertainty to lead him ever more fully into the unique and perfect expression of Life that can come only through him.  The joy in which I live is the same kind of miracle that welcoming uncertainty about my specific life path has offered. 
    I am aware that stepping along this life adventure in alignment with that kind of trust is a choice.  It requires letting go of much of what most of us have been educated to (over) value about control and goal-orientation and devalue about surrender and process- or love-orientation.  It is my choice and I'm grateful for the resultant experience of liberation and abundance in a way that has my heart bowing on my knees with humility and awe and leaping with radiant celebration!

    It's a beautiful morning here at Freeheart® Ranch and I've been up since hours before dawn riding a wave of creativity specific to evolving the look and content of this website and starting this blog.  I've been evolving as an individual for years, so it ought not surprise me when I take on something I never thought I would, in this case blogging.  One time, and one time only, I will confess that the word itself has been completely uninspiring to me--too much like slogging, groggy, blah or block.  After receiving advice multiple times from a variety of sources to include a blog in my offerings and having a deep commitment to reach out and be of service, I find myself willing to shift into interested, inclined and finally inspired about blogging!  ...ready to have an altered response to the word and the thing itself.
    Shifting one's own response to or interpretation of something toward what is more Life-affirming, more deeply true, even if only slightly, can be life-changing and is essential in the path of personal evolution.  Every single one of us humans takes on interpretations of or beliefs about ourselves others and the world as we develop and these beliefs determine our behavior and responses to people and events.  The way we behave creates our life experience and the world we live in (aka 'our thoughts create our world').  My previous response to blogging was preventing some people from finding or connecting with me and my work.  Shifting my response has opened up an extended field of possibility that I like because I'd like more people who are ready for my partnership in service of their personal evolution to find me! 
    Whether small or huge, such shifts, when done with intention and consciousness, enable us to create the future we'd like to cause and the life experience we most desire.  Sometimes a 'Just Do It' approach is enough to cause a shift and other times support and partnership are necessary to navigate into a new, inner territory to find the ground for our fullest potential to emerge.
    We've been acculturated to muscle through life using the 'Just Do It' approach that has been predominant and applauded and yet many of us are finding ourselves unsatisfied with our individual experiences and the conditions of our world in general as we have created them via hypermasculinated, muscling means.  It is increasingly being noted that we need to now help each other, be partnered, interdependent and more related in order to evolve individually and collectively toward an ever more satisfying experience.  We need to bring forward more feminine ways of creating in the world for better balance and greater well-being for everybody.
    I'm delighted to have received encouragement from others and listened to my own inner nudges to engage in a new response to blogging beginning with this entry.  Whether it's the 'Just Do It' variety of shift, an assisted deep evolution of self, simply feeling appreciation for what is or a combination of them all (I highly recommend the combo), I encourage you to choose consciously and revel!
With a free and warm heart,
Sarah